Second Try

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m.

I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days.

Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over again.

My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, “Honey, I'm home!”

“And just where have you been?” she replied sharply

“It's after seven o'clock!”