The Conductor’S Curse

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.

Giovanni said, “Hey, Luigi, How was a da treep?”

Luigi said, “Everything was-a perfect except for da train a ride down.”

What'a you mean, Luigi?” asked Giovanni.

“Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala Station

My beautiful Virginia had packed a biga basket a food with Vino and cigars for a me, and a we were looking a “forward to da trip

All was OK until we gotta hungry and opened up a da luncha basket.

“The conductor came by, wagged his a finger at us and a say, ‘No eat in dese'a car

Must'a use a dining car.'

“So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a biga lunch and begin to open da bottle of Vino!

“Conductor walk by me again, wag his a finger and say, ‘No drink'a in dese'a car

Must'a use'a club'a car'

So we go to club'a car.

“While'a drinking vino, I start to light'a my big'a cigar

The conductor, he wag'a his finger agin and say, ‘No smoke'a in dese'a car

Must'a go to da smoker car.' So we go to da smoker car and I smoke'a my cigar.

“Later, my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to da sleeper car and a go to bed

We just about to have'a se.

and the conductor, he walk'a through da car corridor shouting at top of his voice, ‘NO'FOLK'A, VIRGINIA! NO'FOLK'A VIRGINIA!”